DTH Columns

Sept. 22, 2004 — Field hockey gains a new fan
(Deluxe Expanded Edition)

I talked big three weeks ago and promised to show up at the field hockey home opener Sept. 18.

Since I actually remembered to go, here's a running diary of the inaugural Ben Couch field hockey experience:

12:25: During my stroll to Henry Stadium, I pass through the Polk Place, where ESPN's Heisman Tour is setting up.

The Heisman trophy will be touchable in mere moments, but I remember my call to shun major sports and move on.

12:26: I realize I don't know what I was thinking, either.

12:36: Arriving at Henry Stadium during warmups, I soak in the new environment.

The field is surrounded on two sides by ivy-covered fence. Trees tower above the open field, making it seem like a forest glade with skirted sprites running around swinging candy canes. There is a decaying building of streaked dirty concrete on the left, looming like a monolith. Were I on shrooms, the two bushy trees located across from the stands would so enrapture me that I wouldn't notice the game being played on the field below.

The goalies are super-padded, and look kind of like Transformers. UNC's keeper is Katy Tran, pronounced, "Tron." Coincidence? I think not.

12:38: I run into my boys Adam and Phil, who are picking up Jimmy John's. They actually deliver directly to the field. Who knew?

12:40: The press box is disappointing. They only have canned sodas and information. Tell me, how am I possibly supposed to perpetuate stereotypes and become grotesquely fat on canned soda and information? The sheer concept is mind-boggling.

12:48: "Lose Yourself" blasts over the PA. Accordingly, I'm hype.

12:50: "Lose Yourself" fades into Avril Lavigne's "My Happy Ending." I'm still hype, but only because I'm all about Avril. Somebody needs to donate these guys a Jock Jams CD.

12:58: The national anthem is played and the Old Dominion players hold hands and swing them the whole time. It's cute enough to make my chest swell with American pride. Or throw up in my mouth.

1:00: Game time. It's North Carolina's ball to start. They back pass - it's like soccer so far. I momentarily believe I can follow.

1:01: A whistle blows, and the players stop what they were doing and run downfield. They leave the ball where it was and a Tar Heel knocks it forward.

This prompts the following exchange with my boy Phil, who's covering the game for a class:

Phil: What happened?

Me: Uhmm ... foul?

Phil: (Laughs) I shouldn't be covering this.

1:03: The team parents are hardcore. All-American Kelsey Keeran's mother, Debbie, is a squinty-eyed woman of medium height with corn-husk blond hair.

She's also a yeller, alternately expressing cheer, sympathy, anguish and encouragement or all of these at once. I wonder if she knows any of the players have first names.

1:05: I have no idea what just happened during the last 30 seconds - a hot girl walked into the stands. My attention span hits a new low.

After a few moments, Mrs. Keeran greets the hottie, who's name is "Merry." I overhear the following exchange:

Merry: I would've said 'Hi', but I didn't want to interrupt.

Debbie: (Laughs; to the other parents) She would've said 'Hi', but didn't want to interrupt our yelling! (They laugh; to Merry) That's OK, honey. How are you?

This seems like a routine. I squirm and officially feel like I'm the outsider. Then I remember that actually to be the case.

1:07: During a failed UNC rush, I prepare to dial 911 in case Mrs. Keeran goes Julie Dwyer on me and pops an embolism in her brain.

1:08: There's a penalty shot. Why?

Uhmm... foul?

Actually, it's a corner, which is my new favorite play in sports.

One player sends a pass from the corner to her entire team, which is lined up versus the goalie and four defenders who the coach has deemed human sacrifices.

ODU manages to make the save.

1:12: ODU gets its first good rush of the game, and a UNC player sits on the puck.

It's UNC ball. Why?

Uhmm... foul?

1:17: A wind-up slap shot bounces off a player's foot. My bones hurt reflexively. Can they keep the skirts if we force them to wear more padding?

1:28: ODU makes a rush, but Phil offers me the remainder of his sandwich and I miss the result. No boos and the scoreboard still reads 0-0, so I assume nothing of note happened.

1:29: Keeran draws a corner, but North Carolina, ranked third in the country, misses the ball on the centering pass for the second time. I'm smelling a repeating theme.

1:31: There's a give-and-go-and-give-again between Keeran and Brooke Miller, but the short stuff is kicked away by the goalie.

1:33: UNC has yet another rush turned away by Monarch goalie Mary Cate Gordon, who I've decided is the Megatron to the UNC Autobots. The Tar Heels can easily pass through Gordon's minions, but they can't break her down.

1:38: At halftime, while browsing through the media guide, I find out exactly how hardcore these parents are: Most of the players are out-of-state students.

I ask the couple in front of me - Cindy and Ken Falgowski, parents of UNC's forward Kerry Falgowski - where they came down from, and they say Pennsylvania.

Cindy explains matter-of-factly, "It's our daughter's last season, so we can't miss a home game." That, my friends, is dedication.

Midway through the break, I'm blessed with the presence of one Gabrielle De Rosa, DTH field hockey expert-in-residence. De( )Rosa answers many questions I had about this fine sport. A good kid, that one.

1:52: For minutes into the second half, UNC gets a corner.

North Carolina sets up, and the intended recipient of the pass whiffs as the ball passes through her legs — but an unidentifieable Tar Heel is waiting to rocket a slapshot into the goal, putting her team up 1-0.

I later find out this is a set play for short corners called a "slip." UNC runs it unsuccessfully three times in the second half.

1:54: After two minutes of investigative journalism I still have no idea who scored the goal. Or assisted on it. Or anything about field hockey, really.

1:57: The Monarchs use a beautiful give-and-go to create an empty net, but Darcy Pinchbeck can't control the ball. Tran recovers and make a spectacular diving save at the corner of the net.

ODU just missed it's big chance.

2:07: These parents are awesome. This crowd is more alive than most football games I've been to — and Henry's down 59,600 fans on a full Kenan at the moment.

2:26: The clock runs out and the Heels persevere 1-0. The second half went by pretty quickly, with more up-and-down action than the first. For a match between the No. 3 and No. 7 teams, the outcome never really seemed in doubt.

2:31: Post-game, I find out that Naomi Weatherald scored the goal and the parents throw a tailgate party for the players after every game. I get invited and must decline. Journalistic integrity sucks.

Oh, and the aforementioned hottie was Meredith Keller, UNC alumna and member of the US national field hockey team. In case you had doubts, I've still got good taste.

I'm interested enough in field hockey to come out again.

See you tonight at 7.