DTH Columns

Sept. 3, 2004 — Different Forecasts of UNC season

In discussing this year's North Carolina football team preview, my editor did the dangerous thing: he gave me creative license.

Keeping in mind that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, it's time to go Ralph Wiley on you – my alter-ego, the Swill Barber, wanted to chime in on the Tar Heels' current state of affairs.

tSB: Whutup Couch? I'm glad you brought along someone who knows what they're talking about.

BC: Sure thing, Swill. I'll let you start things off. And remember to keep this clean – this is a family production we put out here.

tSB: Easy there, B-Cizzle. Only promise you get from me is to speak the truth. If it calls for me to say some things, I'm gonna have to say some things.

BC: Ah boy. Take it away.

tSB: Truth be told, it ain't looking pretty for the '04 Heels. Last year's defense took more hits than Al Pacino at the end of Scarface, and didn't fight as hard, either.

You see the way they punked out in the last game? They were down 23-0 at the half. To Duke.

Yea, the offense woke up and scored some, but ouch

And that new ACC? Good luck, son. Maryland and Clemson got bounced off the schedule, but y'all got Miami and Virginia Tech thrown on.

I've gotta admit, the offense has got some skills – Darian Durant has re-written the UNC record books so often he should have hand cramps.

The O-line is gonna hold it down behind Jason Brown and get Ronnie McGill to be the first Tar Heel to 1,000 yards in a long minute - especially since Madison Hedgecock came over from the defense to lead block at fullback. Anyone who can knock people out on offense is gangsta.

Jacque Lewis has the third-down back spot on lock, Chad Scott can come in to spell either Lewis or McGill.

And I ain't even get at them receivers yet. You feelin' me?

BC: Yeah, I'm hearing you, Swill. But you haven't even mentioned this year's defense.

tSB: For good reason, guy.

BC: Yeah, like you not knowing any better. Bunting brought in Marvin Sanders and John Gutekunst to share coordinating duties, and they've got the offense impressed with its defensive coutnerparts.

Wide receiver Adarius Bowman said the defense is flying all over the place in practice - making picks and tackles and generally not getting picked apart like it was last year.

And if the defense can cause problems for this offense, even you have to give them some credit.

tSB: Aight, I'll give it to you. but what about Chase Page's finger going AWOL?

BC: It's unfortunate. Page was a major presence, but they've got some raw talent to fill in.

Khalif Mitchell, who was set to start at defensive end, is moving inside. He's a 6-6, 293-pound true freshman whose mix of size and athleticism could remind some people of Julius Peppers.

Jonas Seawright dropped 45 pounds over the summer and looks ready to finally harness his untapped potential.

The linebackers also have major promise, led by Larry Edwards, whose name has appeared next to the words "future star" ever since last season's breakout game against Virginia.

Looking toward the secondary, starting strong safety Gerald Sensabaugh transferred after East Tennessee State's football program folded at the end of last year. The senior was a Division I-AA third-team All-American last year.

Cornerback is looking a little shaky for the Tar Heels, but senior Lionell Green has the experience and size coaches love.

tSB: Hold up. You're trying to say what? That the defense could be good?

BC: Potentially.

tSB: Yeah, potentially's the word. Hate to blow up your spot like this, but it's a bunch of young'uns and a couple of guys who changed their positions in the of-season. That's got some potential to be no good.

BC: Perhaps, but let's move on to a unit we both know is good - the special teams. Both kicker Conner Barth and returning punter David Woolridge own booming legs, and the Tar Heels feature a pair of electric return men in Mike Mason and Jarwarski Pollock.

tSB: Word. That Mason kid is my boy. He's so confident he ain't even know what he's saying.

I checked this article on the Tar Heel Blue Web site, and Mase said three touchdowns on kick returns this year is a realistic goal for him.

The NFL record is 4, and them dudes play 16 games.

BC: Right. And on to the recap.

During the 2004 season, the Tar Heels play four preseason top 25 teams – No. 5 Florida State, No. 6 Miami, No. 16 Virginia and No. 19 Utah – and two others – Louisville and N.C. State – which lurk just below the AP Poll.

The Tar Heels enter the 2004 season with a varied, proven offense that will likely improve on last year's performance; improvement is also likely for the young defense, if only because it can't get worse. Special teams will be a strength. Predictions?

tSB: I'll give them the first one, the last one and one more for good measure. 3-8, 2-6 in the ACC. I'm out. Peace.

BC: Later, Swill. As for me, when factoring in a Kenan Stadium-home field advantage that really only exists in my head, I'll say that there's seven winnable games on the schedule.

I'll go out on a limb and say four or five wins, with at least a 3-5 record in the ACC.

And John Bunting keeps his job.

*Barbershop Bonus*

Lines cut pre-printing, all of which I knew were getting the axe and kept in solely for JK's editing entertainment:

On trading Maryland and Clemson for Miami and VaTech:
tSB: That's like finally breaking through with a girl who plays hard to get, and then she drops the F-Word on you when it's about to be on.
BC: F-Word?
tSB: Friends, dawg. Keep up with the speed of the game.

On Darian Durant:
Double D has put enough records in the UNC book to spill out of the epnonymous cup size.

On Larry Edwards:
His name has appeared next to the words "future star" more often than Lindsay's “Mount” Lohans.

On Mike Mason returning three kicks for TDs:
He does that, and he's officially Murda Mase from now on.