Short Stories

Conditioner (Rinse Thoroughly)

It's time for Spring Break. Keep in decent touch with her. Phone every couple of days, talk online a bit. Start to think Junior Prom date. Ask, and find out she did, too. She says she would've asked you, but there was this whole mess, which you never really find out about, and she's going with an old friend. That sucks. But what can ya do?

The last day of vacation, go to a senior friend's graduation party. A girl sits topless on your lap for four-and-one-half hours.

Think to yourself, "She's throwing herself at me. She's not bad. I'm not really going out with the physics girl. And one person here goes to my school. So who's gonna know?"

The predictable answer: Everyone. That quarter-sized hickey on your neck is kind of hard to miss.

It's 80 degrees on Monday. Turtlenecks are a no-go. Realize you're gonna have to bear the brunt of this one. She's got a bit of a temper, so you figure she'll be one to make a scene, bitch the shit of you, and then slap you around a little for good measure. It's amazing how wrong you can be.

During school that day, try to talk to her, and notice that she's just answering your questions without really responding to them. She's got sort of a glazed over look. Call her out on it, and she says she's just tired.

See her animated in two conversations during the rest of the day. Decide you guys need to talk. Beep her at 4:30. When there's no answer by 6, try again. And then again at 9. Go to sleep when there's no response by 11.

The next morning, in band, walk to your seat and turn to say, "Hey" to a friend. See the physics girl heading in your direction.

Say, "Hey."

Without looking up, she says, "Sorry 'bout yesterday. My lines were tied."

Shrug. "Aight...Whatevs."

It's the last thing you say to her.

She's got a boyfriend three weeks later. And no need to talk to you for the rest of high school. Retell the story and say, "What a bitch!" while thinking, "I'm such an asshole." Never forgive yourself for blowing it.

I'm sorry Anna.